Grace - Not In The Head

Something has been roaming around my mind
Questions, questions that keep on lighting up inside
But the answers are not so plain in sight
Thus wishing words may come in light.

Thinking of the things that could reason out the "What" or the "Why"
Huh! Thoughts are crashing over and are out of the line
Still hoping that truth will come to bring peace and life
So that the dead hope will come back in might

I tried seeking a hand everywhere for a guide
Even soaring up in the sky so high to glide
While fixing the lenses to focus the eyes
However failure knocked down everything in just one plight

These efforts? Those works? All boiled down to die
Did many on my own just to simply get burnt and tired
Letting the joy in my heart be stricken and fired
Rolling! Walking around, here and there without a paint of smile

Denied help to live and survive so many times
Fear, failures and doubt; Oh something I shrug and deny
Although I know deep within I am hurting inside
Kept distance with people to flee from hurt and hide

Have looked for anything that will keep me living alive
Or maybe something that would and could add colors in this life
And begin to see the beauty of the sunset nor the sunrise
Yet there's nothing could ever mend this fight

I wanna run. I wanna die. I wanna cry
The outcry of the person longing but locked in the dark
Heart is tightly dying while soul is getting burned in fire
Tongue is twisted while eyes are getting blind

I am tired. Yes, I am. I am sick and tired
This place is putting me in so much pain and bind
Yet the spirit hopes, and still wanting to be fine
To see breakthroughs burst in rightful time.

'til He came. My Father came with His timing that's oh so right
He ran so fast when He saw me walking in the aisle.
I was about to talk but He shut my mouth with a hug
He wrapped His arms around me ensuring me I am loved.

He asked the servants to get the robe with colors so bright
Put it around me like my value is more than a dime.
Took the ring and place it on my finger that is so fragile
And He had my feet worn the sandals

He assured me that I am more valuable than any gems you could fine
Nor the treasures of silver or gold you could dug or mined
He even restored  my sonship rightfully seated in His side
Because of Jesus who we call the Christ

Jesus, at the cross bought me with a price
Brought fear, shame and guilt with Him to die
Ended the condemnation of sin with glorious sign
Sealed it with shedding of His blood.

Grace and mercy came upon me with Jesus, the Son of Man.
Who gave His life to end the debt of sin from the first adam.
Breathed me His breath to make and to have my life back
Loosing His own to make sure I have it in complete abundance

Actually He has the calf killed to make sure I am well supplied
With everything I needed and those I just really want
He makes me lie down on green pastures to dine
And sit beside rivers of His peace and love

Yes, I thought about grace is in my heart
Frankly I knew grace just in my head and not have it real inside
But I have encountered grace in the deepest darkness of my life
It shined not in my head because His has finally revealed His light